Poos of the past

Walk into history, with murder on agenda, and look at poos of the past

Wallingford's Guided Historic Town Walks, held every Saturday starting from the Town Hall at 11am, are now in full flow.

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The museum has a number of activities planned over the coming weeks, including 'poos of the past'. Sessions take place on April 9, 11, 16 and 18.

Visit wallingfordmuseum.org.uk

(The Wantage & Grove Herald, 10 April 2019)

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Poos of the past!

Feel free to browse our cabinets of famous poos of the past. Each display case is labelled with the exhibit’s previous owner and a brief summary of his or her toilet habits, where known.

Pontius Pilate
Always washed his hands

Queen Elizabeth I
Had the heart and stomach of a king; less is known about her lower digestive system

Dylan Thomas
Did not go gently

Charles Dickens
Liked to give his number twos names inspired by some of his most famous characters, such as Tiny Turd and Bob Crapshit

Greta Garbo
She liked to poo alone

Rodin
Obsessed by flatulence. Of his ‘Fart Studies’ only the sculpture originally named ‘The Stinker’ remains

Mozart
Known for his beautiful movements

Thomas Chippendale
Reportedly furious when asked to provide a stool sample. Insisted his medical advisers instead refer to his ‘occasional tables’

Queen Victoria
Spent a very long time on the throne

We hope you’ve enjoyed this literal shitshow. Do keep an eye out for our forthcoming exhibition ‘Oui-Oui: An exploration of the role of urine in French popular culture’.

Lady Carnarvon launches perfume

Lady Carnarvon of Highclere Castle this week announced she is launching two signature perfumes.

The perfumes have been developed with Lucy Akhurst, the founder of La Maison Hédonïque, a bespoke perfumer.

Lady Carnarvon describes the new products on her blog.

She said: "The first is based on musk roses with a dark green edge, which stops it being cloying or heavy.

"Inspired by the old roses in the Peach House in the Monks' Garden which cascade in colour and scent through the summer, it is close to my heart.

"We have called this perfume 1793 which is the date of the Carnarvon title.

"The other one is called Loratô.

"Full of fresh scents like bergamot, lily of the valley, cucumber, fresh grass, a hint of orange blossom and running water, it is summer in a bottle."

The perfume has been made in limited numbers and will be on sale in the Highclere Gift Shop during the Easter opening between April 7 and April 23.

(Newbury Weekly News, 4 April 2019)

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Press Release

To: Local news outlets

Subject: Mrs Stubbings launches perfumes

Inspired by the news that Lady Carnarvon has launched two signature perfumes, Mrs Betty Stubbings of Cosy Caravan Park is delighted to announce the launch of her own signature fragrances.

The perfumes have been developed with her husband, Trevor Stubbings, chef at Cosy Caravan Park and keen amateur gardener.

Mrs Stubbings describes the new product in ‘Mobile Home Mutterings’, the caravan park’s monthly newsletter.

She said: “The first is based on potted geraniums with an anorak-beige edge which stops it being cloying or heavy.

“Inspired by the pot plants round by the wheelie bins which occasionally bloom when we can keep the neighbour’s cat out of them, it is close to my heart.

“We have called this perfume 1986, which is when Trevor was awarded his first food hygiene certificate.

“The other one is called Bettêtrev.

“Full of fresh scents like burger buns, LPG gas, tomatoes, astroturf, a hint of orange squash and chlorinated water, it is the caravan park in a bottle.”

The perfume has been made in vast quantities and will be on sale in The Cosy Caravan Park Gift Shop all year round.