Sunday, June 9, 2019

Stratfield Mortimer elects parish councillors


Stratfield Mortimer's newly-elected parish council recently met at Mortimer's Methodist Church Hall.

Also in attendance was Burghfield and Mortimer district councillor Geoff Mayes.

Michael Dennett was elected chairman and Dave Kilshaw vice-chairman.

Danusia Morsley was elected chairwoman of the planning committee, Chris Lewis will chair the roads, footpaths and commons committee and John Bull the fairground and cemetery committee.

Among the issues discussed was policing of the village as well as the Plastic Free Mortimer initiative, which works with local restaurants and businesses to reduce plastic waste.

(Newbury Weekly News, 6 June 2019)

*

Mrs Bull heard the front door slam and called out from the living room, ‘That you, John? How did it go?’

At the first sight of his face, pale and trembling in the doorway, she knew something momentous had happened.

‘I got it, sweetheart.’ He dropped to his knees beside her armchair and gripped her hands in his. ‘They gave me the big one.’

‘Not,’ her eyes searched his, ‘not the playground and abattoir committee?’

He shook his head. ‘Bigger than that.’

Her jaw dropped. ‘They couldn’t have given you...not the petting zoo and prison committee?’

‘Ha!’ His laugh was scornful. ‘That’s small potatoes compared to this. It’s the one we’ve always dreamed of. The committee where I can finally give free rein to my creative genius.’

‘Oh John!’ Her hand flew to her mouth.

‘Yes, dear. That’s right. They’ve given me the fairground and cemetery committee.’

Tears had sprung into her eyes. ‘I’m so happy for you, darling. I know all the plans you’ve made for this.’

‘Plans that will put Stratfield Mortimer on the map!’ He had risen to his feet and was staring with lifted chin into the middle distance. ‘Coffin Waltzers! Skull Shies! But the piece de resistance, the idea that will go down in history, darling - two words.’

‘Which are?’ She was breathless with anticipation.

He spread his arms wide, as if indicating an enormous sign. 

‘Ghost Train!’

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Man trapped in knee-high mud


Firefighters had to rescue a man who became trapped in boggy water in Hungerford.

Royal Berkshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman Mark Antell said: "At 1.20pm on Wednesday, May 22, we received reports of a man trapped, requiring rescue, behind Church Lane, close to the [St Lawrence] church.

"Two crews from Newbury, one crew from Dee Road and a crew from Dorset and Wiltshire Fire and Rescue Service were sent to the scene.

"Firefighters assisted the man to release him from knee-high mud.

"Crews were on the scene for just over an hour."

South Central Ambulance Service spokeswoman Michelle Archer said: "We had an ambulance officer on scene and fortunately the patient was not injured."

(Newbury Weekly News, 30 May 2019)

*

‘Just don’t panic,’ he muttered to himself. ‘The main thing is not to panic, you’ll only make it worse.’

He tried gingerly to extricate one leg, wobbled, and replaced it in its original position.

‘Not panicking. Definitely not panicking. I can do this.’ He took some deep breaths. ‘Keep calm. Don’t think about the obstacles, think about the positives.’

He looked around.

‘It’s a nice sunny day. I’ve got a beautiful church to look at while I’m here – if I crane my head round and don’t wobble too much. No one’s here to see me stranded so I might just be able to keep it a…’ He broke off, a look of horror spreading across his face. ‘No!’ he whispered, urgently, staring at a figure emerging from the bushes along the footpath. ‘Please, God, no! If you have to send someone send anyone but…’

‘Danny?’ The figure had caught sight of him and stopped.

‘Stacey! Hiya,’ Danny waved breezily.

Stacey tilted her beautiful head to one side and narrowed her eyes. ‘What are you doing out there in the mud?’

‘Training!’ Danny attempted a gentle squat: shakily descending a couple of inches and then returning to the safety of a standing position. ‘I’ve got the Tough Mudder competition in a couple of weeks.’

‘Oh yeah! You and some of the other guys from the rugby club isn’t it?’

Danny’s heart skipped a beat. She knew that he was part of the Tough Mudder team! He’d always thought she barely realised he existed.

‘Yeah - Mikey, Craig, Jonesy, all that lot.’

‘Cool.’ She stood, waiting. ‘Don’t let me stop you then. What are you going to do next?’

Danny looked down at his legs, snugly encased from the knee down in thick, treacly mud.

‘I’m erm…I’m working on my core.’ He bent slowly from one side to the other.

‘Danny?’

Danny looked up to see amusement in her eyes.

‘Yes?’

‘Shall I call the fire brigade?’

A hundred answers flashed through his mind – defensive, hurt, scornful, bemused answers to put her off the scent. And then –

‘Yes please, Stacey.’

Toys in trousers

Chippenham: On April 27, a male thief entered Morrisons and stuffed an unknown amount of items of Lego bricks in his trousers and left w...